Learning to manage performance expectations that run far too high

Studies show that high expectations of students, school team members, or yourself can foster a stimulating learning climate. [1] Indeed, encouraging excellence can motivate, coach, and push students to perform at their best.

However, when they become excessive, these expectations can have the opposite effect: create stress, undermine motivation, and hinder performance. It then becomes essential, as a student, to learn to recognize, understand and adjust personal expectations in order to move forward in a more balanced way.

1. Identify the origin of your high expectations

Before you can manage them, it's helpful to understand where these expectations come from. They can come from various sources:

• Teacher requirements;

• Parents' expectations;

• Group or peer pressure;

• social and cultural norms;

• The standards that you impose on yourself.

Identifying these influences makes it possible to better target your sources of pressure, and therefore to adjust them more effectively.

2. Recognizing the negative impacts of unrealistic expectations

When expectations become too high or unrealistic, they can lead to:

• Stress and anxiety;

• A decrease in motivation;

• A drop in school results;

• An acquired resignation in the face of poor results (feeling powerless);

• Procrastination, for fear of not being up to the task;

• A decrease in self-confidence.

Recognizing these effects is a first step in starting to better manage overly high performance expectations and take care of your mental health.

3. Learn to adjust your expectations

To regain a healthy balance, several strategies can be put in place:

a) Set SMART goals

Objectives Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Defined allow you to structure the work and keep a clear vision of what you want to achieve, without exhausting yourself.

b) Divide the tasks

Rather than aiming for the perfect goal all at once, breaking your work down into smaller steps makes the process less daunting. Each step taken becomes a source of satisfaction and reinforces the feeling of progress.

c) Valuing the effort as much as the result

It's not just the end result that counts, but how far we've come. Recognizing energy, time, and committed learning helps build self-esteem.

d) Learning to accept mistakes

Imperfection is a part of the learning process. Making mistakes is not a sign of failure, but a valuable opportunity for adjustment and improvement.

e) Taking care of yourself

When results don't meet expectations, it's crucial to adopt a caring attitude toward yourself. Respecting your rhythm, resting and taking breaks are essential elements to maintain motivation.

4. Know how to ask for help

When the pressure gets too much, don't hesitate to seek support. Talking to a friend, teacher, professional, or mentor can provide an outside perspective, comfort, and tailored advice. Tools like meditation, mindfulness, or breathing techniques can also help ease performance-related anxiety.

Conclusion

Managing personal expectations is a learning process that requires time, awareness and kindness. By understanding their origin, by becoming aware of their effects, and by adopting realistic strategies, it is possible to reconcile ambition and balance. The path to success then becomes more serene, more sustainable... and above all, more human.

[1] Dumais, F. (2011). Maintain high expectations of students Answers from scientific and professional writings. University of Montreal. Montreal school support program. Ministry of Education, Recreation and Sport. https://ecolemontrealaise.info/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Archambault_Dumais_2011_AttentesElevees.pdf